Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Ahhhh. Smell that? Smells like progress. I love that smell. You know what smell I like better than progress? Garlic bread? Patchouli incense? A soft spring breeze coasting along an open field of flowers? No...renewal.
It's been a while since I last posted a blog, or sent out an email newsletter, or even updated my website. It's been a while because I got stuck in a rut. I had identity issues, not just with my writing but with myself as an author. I was letting the negative things in life get the best of me.
For the longest while, I've believed that God gave me the gift of writing. And for the last couple of years, I've pursued that to the very, very best of my ability. Unfortunately, I never learned to fully let go and give it to Him. Instead, I've been clutching everything in my life close to my chest, as if I had a winning poker hand and was just waiting for everyone at the table to plunk their bets down before I revealed it. Boy was I wrong. Not only did I not have a winning poker hand, I wasn't even holding the number of cards needed to make a full hand in the first place. It seems the closer we hold on to things, the more we destroy them and cause them to fade from our grip.
So it seems I've received a wake up call. Reluctantly, I started giving God those things that I've been trying to hide from Him...my writing, my job situation, even my family ties. These are all things I've thought for the longest time I could manage on my own - finagle my way out of, scheme my way through. But in the end, I've just been spinning my dilapidated wheels into nothingness.
I feel reborn, as if a fresh spirit of purpose, of destiny, has been bestowed upon me. A fire within me, as if a phoenix has risen from the ashes, catching my very soul ablaze with its mere presence. The light in my eyes feels brighter, the grip on my pen feels stronger and more dedicated. Now's the time for the tides to turn and I'm giving it all I got. To burn out bright, so to say. What good is living if we can't enjoy the life around us, right?
For those that aren't familiar with me as a writer at all, please take some time out and visit the following links. Some of these things are still under construction, and for that I ask for a bit of patience, but other items are up and ready for you to read and revel in. I only ask that you leave your losing poker hand at the door and let the tide take you where it will.