Other digital versions will be added soon - such as Nook - but you can find those versions at Smashwords right now. A giveaway on Goodreads is possibly around the corner, and you can add the book to your reading list on Goodreads here.
In celebration of the release of the book, here is your chance to win a signed paperback copy: a Rafflecopter giveaway
I'm in the beginning stages of the cover design for Of Dreams and Faith, my upcoming non-fiction work chronicling my journey of faith as a writer. My wife has helped me with each of the cover designs for my fictional novels, although this one is a bit different to craft since this is my first non-fiction piece.
One of the two ideas that my wife and I had for the main cover design consisted of two paths diverging, to echo Robert Frost's quote, "“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” The other idea we had was the beach at sunset, to represent dreams (aspirations) and God.
The trail pictures didn't turn out exactly the way we wanted them. Well, that is to say the pictures turned out well, but they wouldn't work well with our cover ideas. The cover would turn out too busy once the book title and author name are added to the pic.
So this leaves us with the beach sunset picture. Plenty of skyline to put the book title on, and when it wraps around to the back cover, we have plenty more skyline to write out the book description. We have many versions of this particular scene to pick from - which I will be sorting through - but here's the general baseline image:
To be honest, if there's one thing I never want to carry with me through this life, it's regret. Regret tastes sour in my mouth, and leaves me with an acidic sensation in my stomach. As I've matured (spiritually) over the years, I've learned to build my life around a particular attitude: live with no regrets. This doesn't mean I party like there's no tomorrow. It means I never want to look back at my life and wonder what could have been. What could have happened had I just taken step #1001 and passed into the great thing God had been preparing for me the whole course of my journey instead of giving up and calling it quits at step #1000?
Travis Clark, the pastor of Canvas - the church plant my wife and I are taking part in in San Francisco - came and spoke at our church a number of Sundays ago, and he went into detail about how King Saul threw away the things God had for his life because he wanted things his way and not God's way. The pinnacle of Saul's downfall can be found in 1 Samuel 13, but the verse that gets to me is verse 13 - And Samuel said to Saul, "You have acted foolishly; you have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God, which He commanded you, for now the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. (Taken from the New American Standard edition)
Samuel's statement is pretty clear - God would have blessed Saul's reign as king over Israel forever. FOREVER. But because he disobeyed God and moved in fear and impatience, God stripped him of what could have been. Those words are painful. What could have been. It indicates something in an alternate reality, or in a black hole somewhere - something that could have come to fruition, could have come into existence, but didn't. The abortion of a dream. Of a purpose. Of a plan. God's plan. In verse 14, Samuel continues - "But now your kingdom shall not endure. The Lord has sought out for Himself a man after His own heart, and the Lord has appointed him as a ruler over His people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you."
I don't want to be the subject of why God had to turn to someone else to get His will done. Because make no mistake, God's plans will come to pass regardless if He has to go through a million people to make it happen. But I want to be the man after His own heart, I want to be the one God turns to to walk out His will, to be given responsibility over His people, His things, His blessings.
My heart broke when I read that verse the same way it broke when I read the verses surrounding Moses and the fact that he was able to see the Promised Land from a distance but was not allowed to enter it. Because of disobedience, these two men were never able to experience the full beauty of the promise that God had been leading them towards.
How unfortunate and depressing.
I don't want to live my life, to walk this narrow path, to obey rather than sacrifice, just so I can see God's fulfillment of His promises from a distance. I want to be in the center of them, dancing, singing, and praising God for coming through in everything He said He would.
I've heard from many pastors over the years that many people never make it to their Promised Land because they give up along the way. They either succumb to thinking that God won't come through, or they get tired and lazy and complacent and give up. Some follow different paths to disobedience along the way. Others simply think they can do things their way without direction from God and still reach all that God has in store for them.
I want to reach the other side. I want to breathe in the air of a new land, to see all that God birthed in my heart so many years ago come true. I long for the fulfillment of God's promises in my lifetime. I don't want to be like David and leave the completion of the temple to my children. I want to take part in it with them.
As the end of this season in my life draws near, I know - KNOW - that God is about to move in a powerful way in my life and the life of my family. And when He does, that movement is going to impact everyone around us. I've been waiting for so long, I've been praying for so long. I've been obeying for so long. And I know I will see the Promised Land, I know I will dwell in the midst of the fulfillment of God's promises, because He is not a God who would allow us to be deceived all these years, and He is not a God who lies, and He is not a God who does not know how to give GOOD gifts to His children.
As the pages of this chapter in my life come to a close, I eagerly and expectantly turn the page to the next chapter in my life - the chapter of God's blessings. I don't have to worry about what might have been. I don't have to look back on my life and wonder what God might have done had I only walked in obedience and right relationship with Him. No. I have run the race, and I will now grab hold of the prize...
Years ago, in the murky fog of my adolescent years, dreams took root within me. Dreams of a massive writing career that would span the globe with success and influence. I remember watching the success of J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter series unfold with each novel she put out, and I couldn't help but wonder - if content like the Harry Potter series could impact a generation so heavily, why couldn't work with Christian themes do the same or more? (For the sake of time, we'll disregard the arguments regarding Christian themes apparently found throughout the Harry Potter series.) My question - my desire to see success fall on the side of God - was innocent enough, although probably partly motivated by jealousy for J.K. Rowling, and partly motivated by incredible hope and belief that God could - and would - do the impossible through me and my own writing. At the heart of it, my desire was birthed within the dream that God planted within me - success and influence through my writing. Given by God for God's glory.
Years later, I find myself standing near the end of a long and brutal season. This season has been particularly harsh, with its gale force winds of discipline, its massive rain storms of teaching, and its sometimes blistering cold bouts of desolate financial and provisional status. To sum it up would be to call it a season of sacrifice and obedience.
The beginning of this season had God placing a promise within me, whispering in my ear that the dead-end job I had walked into back in 2007 would be the last 9-5 job I would work until my writing took off well enough to pay the bills. Little did I understand the context of that promise. In 2009 I was wrongfully fired from that job. But I remembered God's promise, and my wife and I walked out the next stage of our season by living off of my wife's income, which was $9/hour for 27 hours a week. Our bills came to significantly more than our income - in fact each month for two years we had a $300-$600 deficit.
But we held onto God's promise.
And for two years, God covered the deficit. One month, the church helped us out. Other months, friends and family stepped in. One month, we found money on the ground - just enough to cover the bills. Another month, money miraculously appeared in our bank account - just enough to cover the bills. One month, my wife and I heard the same message from God but interpreted it differently and came to a point where we received an eviction warning from our apartment complex - but then we realized our mistake, came together on the same page, and found where God's provision was the whole time.
We came out of that two year period with so much blessing - in the form of stronger discernment, a healthier relationship with God and each other, and a greater understanding of God's love for us. We learned how better to manage money, how to give until it hurt, and how to focus on things more important than money - like friendships and our God-given purpose in this life.
Once we entered our third year of this season, we still hadn't seen the fulfillment of God's specific promise of my writing taking off, but we continued to hold onto His word, knowing that the promise would be fulfilled in God's timing. One of His other promises had already been fulfilled by this point with the birth of my son, Nolan. Then Michal received a raise that put us in the black, breaking barely even with our bills every month. It was a sigh of relief that escaped my lips when this occurred, but I wouldn't be satisfied until God's promise was fulfilled.
We are now at the 3 1/2 year mark since I was fired, since Michal and I stepped out in faith to call God out on His word. Months ago, we were drawn to a church plant in San Francisco called Canvas. My reluctance to move to San Francisco was only outweighed by my confusion - what would a church plant have to do with the promise God made me so very, very long ago? And why San Francisco?
But now the pieces are falling into place.
I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as coincidence. And this belief has led me to some conclusions about my current walk with God -
It's no coincidence I decided to venture out into a brand new genre I call edgy Christian speculative fiction to reach believers and non-believers alike. This genre - and my writing in general - is PERFECT for reaching San Francisco.
It's no coincidence that my wife and I have had a burning desire to move to California in general for the last 5+ years. I was born in Mountain View, California, and have always considered California my true home. (It also helps that my grandfather lives somewhat close to the city.)
It's no coincidence that we are about to enter a season of blessing and influence while at the same time joining with a fantastic group of believers who are proud to call Canvas their home, and proud to call us family.
There have been nights I have cried, days I've laughed, and moments I've wanted to throw in the towel and give up on this writing dream. We've reached $0 in our bank account many - MANY - times, while also having moments where we've had more than enough to give to others. I can now confidently say - as Paul did - "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12. I have learned what a relationship - a real talking, trusting, confiding relationship with God is like. I know what it is to speak to a mountain and watch God uproot it and move it to the side. I know what a mustard seed of faith looks like and how incredibly difficult it can be to look past the flesh and circumstance to see it. I have learned, in the midst of everything, that God's 90% is better than my 110%.
And now, here at the end of this season, I am worn out, exhausted, exhilarated, and elated. So many emotions, all swirling around the core of faith that has been refined within me all these years. As I close my eyes and listen, I can hear God whispering to my spirit, telling me He is moving, about to fulfill His promise. He is moving ahead of us into San Francisco, getting the Canvas church plant ready to sweep over SF with His love. He is moving behind us, tapping us on the shoulder, reminding of us how far we have come from who we used to be. He is beside us, walking us through each and every single step of faith, from the packing up of our apartment, to the giving away of half of our furniture, to the very end (literally) of our finances.
It's been said to me lately - by a number of different individuals - that our walk of faith, our testimony, our story has all been coming together to craft a monumental stage for God to move on. I couldn't agree more. We are in a perfect position - friends and family are watching with expectant breath, waiting for God to do the miraculous, while our enemies are lying in wait, anticipating that single slip up they think will bring our downfall like a house of cards swept by the wind.
The thing is, my God won't fail me. He is true to His word, and I have seen with my own eyes His mighty hands at work in my life and in the lives of those around me. As I look over my shoulder behind me, I see a very narrow path filled with obedience and sacrifice, tears and laughter, discipline and blessing. All the makings of a grand testimony, a grand story, a grand stage.
And when God finally moves on this stage, when He does come through with His promises, I won't hesitate to move to the side, to give Him room under the spotlight to do what He does best. Because even though I've walked the walked, and talked the talked, this journey - this story - hasn't been about me at all, but about Him and His faithfulness and His love. His love for me, for His creation. This is His story, and I have had the honor of being chosen to take part in it, to walk it out, to write about it.
Keep watching, good friends. You're about to see God move in a way that is unknown in our times...
